1899 Audiobooks

Mark Twain Lies!

Monday, June 21st, 2010

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Podcast MP3

by Mark Twain
37 minutes, 26 seconds
Two Unabridged Humor Essays
1882,1899

Twain

Includes the Telltale Weekly comedic recordings of Mark Twain’s “My First Lie (And How I Got Out of It)” and “On the Decay of the Art of Lying.”

From “My First Lie (and How I Got Out of It):”


“As I understand it, what you desire is information about ‘my first lie,
and how I got out of it.’ I was born in 1835; I am well along, and my
memory is not as good as it was. If you had asked about my first truth
it would have been easier for me and kinder of you, for I remember that
fairly well. I remember it as if it were last week. The family think it
was the week before, but that is flattery…”

From “On the Decay of the Art of Lying:”

“Observe, I do not mean to suggest that the custom of lying has suffered any decay or interruption–no, for the Lie, as a virtue, a principle, is eternal; the lie, as a recreation, a solace, a refuge in time of need, the fourth Grace, the tenth Muse, man’s best and surest friend, is immortal, and cannot perish from the earth while this club remains. My complaint simply concerns the decay of the art of lying…”

Two humorous essays/speeches read by Alex Wilson.

Funding A Free Audio Library

Originally for sale on June 21, 2005, and released free with a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial License five years later. See the Mission page for why.



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The Happy Prince

Monday, June 14th, 2010

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Podcast MP3

by Oscar Wilde
25 minutes, 49 seconds
Unabridged Fairy Tale
1899

Wilde

Oscar Wilde’s fable about the true meaning of happiness (and, um, just a wee bit of antisemitism).

Funding A Free Audio Library

Originally for sale on June 14, 2005, and released free with a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial License five years later. See the Mission page for why.



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Five Speeches

Monday, January 18th, 2010

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Podcast MP3

by Mark Twain
29 minutes, 45 seconds
Unabridged Humorous Speeches
1899-1908

Twain

Five speeches by the master at making them interesting and witty.

Theoretical Morals (1899)
“A man can’t become morally perfect by stealing one or a thousand green watermelons, but every little bit helps.”

The Alphabet and Simplified Spelling (1907)
“Simplified spelling is all right, but, like chastity, you can take it too far.”

Education and Citizenship (1908)
“Now I want to tell a story about jumping to conclusions. It was told to me by Bram Stoker and it concerns a christening.”

Layman’s Sermon (1906)
“Now I am not modest. I was born modest, but it didn’t last.”

University Settlement Society (1901)
“Marvelous it is, to think of schools where you don’t have to drive the children in, but drive them out! It was not so in my day.”

Note: The podcast includes only “Theoretical Morals.” All five speeches are included in the downloadable bundles.

Read by Alex Wilson.



Funding A Free Audio Library
Originally for sale on January 18, 2005, and released free with a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial License five years later. See the Mission page for why.


Read more, listen to a sample, etc…