Mark Twain Audiobooks

About Magnanimous-Incident Literature

Tuesday, February 14th, 2012

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Podcast MP3

by Mark Twain
16 minutes, 7 seconds
Unabridged Humor/Storytelling/Essay
1878

Twain

Twain proposes some realistic sequels to three common morality tales.

Read by Alex Wilson.


Funding A Free Audio Library

Originally for sale on February 14, 2007, and released free with a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial License five years later. See the Mission page for why.

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The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn

Monday, February 21st, 2011

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Podcast MP3

by Mark Twain
9 hours, 24 minutes
Unabridged Adventure/Humor Novel
1885


Huck Finn

Ernest Hemingway wrote: “All modern American literature comes from one book by Mark Twain called Huckleberry Finn … it’s the best book we’ve had. All American writing comes from that. There was nothing before. There has been nothing as good since.”

Big-river adventure and biting, laugh-out-loud satire in this classic “Great American Novel.” Narrated by John Jennens.

[Note: Two downloads are required for the complete novel. You can download just the first part if you want, but it might lack the closure you're looking for. Also the podcast includes only a fraction of the book. A good fraction, but still.]




Funding A Free Audio Library

Originally for sale on February 21, 2006, and released free with a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial License five years later. See the Mission page for why.

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A Medieval Romance

Monday, November 1st, 2010

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Podcast MP3

by Mark Twain
21 minutes, 12 seconds
Unabridged Humorous Story
1870

Twain

A comedic fable about gender issues, succession, identity crisis, and, yes, a bit of love and romance in a patriarchal kingdom in the year 1222. By the incomparable Mark Twain.

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Mark Twain Lies!

Monday, June 21st, 2010

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Podcast MP3

by Mark Twain
37 minutes, 26 seconds
Two Unabridged Humor Essays
1882,1899

Twain

Includes the Telltale Weekly comedic recordings of Mark Twain’s “My First Lie (And How I Got Out of It)” and “On the Decay of the Art of Lying.”

From “My First Lie (and How I Got Out of It):”


“As I understand it, what you desire is information about ‘my first lie,
and how I got out of it.’ I was born in 1835; I am well along, and my
memory is not as good as it was. If you had asked about my first truth
it would have been easier for me and kinder of you, for I remember that
fairly well. I remember it as if it were last week. The family think it
was the week before, but that is flattery…”

From “On the Decay of the Art of Lying:”

“Observe, I do not mean to suggest that the custom of lying has suffered any decay or interruption–no, for the Lie, as a virtue, a principle, is eternal; the lie, as a recreation, a solace, a refuge in time of need, the fourth Grace, the tenth Muse, man’s best and surest friend, is immortal, and cannot perish from the earth while this club remains. My complaint simply concerns the decay of the art of lying…”

Two humorous essays/speeches read by Alex Wilson.

Funding A Free Audio Library

Originally for sale on June 21, 2005, and released free with a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial License five years later. See the Mission page for why.



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Five Speeches

Monday, January 18th, 2010

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Podcast MP3

by Mark Twain
29 minutes, 45 seconds
Unabridged Humorous Speeches
1899-1908

Twain

Five speeches by the master at making them interesting and witty.

Theoretical Morals (1899)
“A man can’t become morally perfect by stealing one or a thousand green watermelons, but every little bit helps.”

The Alphabet and Simplified Spelling (1907)
“Simplified spelling is all right, but, like chastity, you can take it too far.”

Education and Citizenship (1908)
“Now I want to tell a story about jumping to conclusions. It was told to me by Bram Stoker and it concerns a christening.”

Layman’s Sermon (1906)
“Now I am not modest. I was born modest, but it didn’t last.”

University Settlement Society (1901)
“Marvelous it is, to think of schools where you don’t have to drive the children in, but drive them out! It was not so in my day.”

Note: The podcast includes only “Theoretical Morals.” All five speeches are included in the downloadable bundles.

Read by Alex Wilson.



Funding A Free Audio Library
Originally for sale on January 18, 2005, and released free with a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial License five years later. See the Mission page for why.


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Extracts from Adam’s Diary

Thursday, May 14th, 2009

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by Mark Twain
27 minutes
Unabridged Short Story
1904

Twain

“This new creature with the long hair is a good deal in the way. It is always hanging around and following me about. I don’t like this; I am not used to company. I wish it would stay with the other animals…”

The battle of the sexes begins in the Garden of Eden, as humourously told by Mark Twain, who “translated a portion” of “Adam’s hieroglyphics.” Note that the word “Extracts” is actually part of the title; this is the full, unabridged short story. Read by Alex Wilson.

Funding A Free Audio Library

Originally for sale on May 14, 2004, and released free with a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial License five years later. See the Mission page for why.

Read more, listen to a sample, etc…

A Dog’s Tale

Friday, February 27th, 2009

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Podcast MP3

by Mark Twain
20 minutes, 55 seconds
Unabridged Short Story
1904

Twain

“My father was a St. Bernard, my mother was a collie, but I am a Presbyterian. This is what my mother told me, I do not know these nice distinctions myself…”

A funny, sweet short story by the incomparable Mark Twain.

Read by Alex Wilson.

Funding A Free Audio Library

Originally for sale on February 27, 2004, and released free with a Creative Commons Attribution License five years later. See the Mission page for why.



Purchase A Dog’s Tale in print/book form at Amazon.com via this link and Telltale Weekly gets a smal percentage of the purchase price. [new window]

Mark Twain (1835-1910) was an American author and beloved humorist best known for his serial novels The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn. Born Samuel Clemens, Twain made a name for himself with his travel writing, anti-imperialism satire, and a white linen suit he wore when speaking in public.


Alex Wilson is a writer and actor from northern Ohio and now based in Carrboro, North Carolina. His stories and comics have appeared/will appear in
Asimov's Science Fiction, The Rambler, Outlaw Territory II (Image Comics), Weird Tales, Futurismic, LCRW and elsewhere. Locus has called him a "promising new writer," and Publishers Weekly also has nice things to say. Website)

Alex has performed lead roles in the North American premiere of (Richard Taylor's musical)
Whistle Down the Wind and (Emmy-nominated director Jack Lucido's film) The Third Cord. He has recently appeared in the Deep Dish Theater productions of Hedda Gabler and Moon for the Misbegotten, and recorded narrations for Escape Pod and Night Shade Books. (Acting Resume/Reel) On early Telltale recordings, Alex is sometimes credited as "Alexander Wilson." He founded Telltale in 2004.